my pity party for the day... Entitled to one on occassion

I have alot on my mind today...that I want to put it all in words; and I struggle... I've been known for having a great imagination; but to put it in words has always been a challenge. I'm 40...41 in July and I have so much I want to say and do...I wish I could just pull the portion of my brain out that has all this energy ... put it through a blender until it comes out in wonderful words and photographs...
..
*I miss my brother and his kids (I need to get off my butt and see them more)
*I miss my grandparents sooooo much; I wish I had been a better grand-daughter.
*I wish I was a better photographer... I could be but don't apply myself enough
*I love to cook and need to cook more
*I wish I was so much better with finances
*There are people I miss so much in my life... Courtney!!! and so many more.
*I wish I had the back bone to tell people to go away who have treated me so badly
I am not normally a negative person, which is something I take pride in, but today.. for some reason, I have something heavy weighing on me and I just can't seem to find the source so that I can make it disappear......and since most people don't like to hear negativity (I know I don't)I'm ending for right now.
Look at Floyd... even he's yawning in boredom... LOL

Blessed be and I hope your week is wonderful